3C Living has many facets including loving well. Loving with strong clarity, clear confidence and resolute courage. It’s a commitment we make to be all in.Heather Penny, Ph.D.
I’ve learned the value of ‘being all in’ through loving a strong man for over 25 years. And being no ‘wilting daisy’ myself, conversations can sometimes get pretty intense. Two strong people disagreeing is never easy. Can anyone relate?
At the end of a disagreement…do you hold back? Do you take steps backward easing away from the relationship? Do you keep the backdoor open for a possible escape? Do you let your heart start to close in a protective posture? Do you ponder revenge or ways to retaliate? (Not proudly, yes…I’ve tried them all.)
It was nearly 5 years into my marriage when I realized my tendency to withhold…almost as if I didn’t quite want all my eggs in this one basket. Looking back, I realized that misunderstandings and hardships were harder and more intense because of my choice to withhold pieces of my heart.
There are times when love really is a choice. And what does choosing to love someone mean? Loving someone for better or for worse means ‘being all in’. When we hold this value well, we are intentional about stepping into conversations, spending quality time together, leaning into our strengths, trusting vulnerable spaces, and honoring the relationship. We own the fact that we chose this person…and we make a commitment to be all in. This is how we choose to love well.
Be. All. In.
This will influence other heart relationships as well. We will have the needed conversations, listen hard, say what needs to be said, and ask the vulnerable questions. Trusting that it is always worth it.
Do we do it well all the time? Nope. In fact, sometimes it gets pretty messy. But each interaction teaches us more about what it means to love well and it reflects back the choices we make in who we are becoming.
A word of caution….’Being All In’ is certainly not for the faint of heart. The most courageous and vulnerable act we can do is to choose to wholeheartedly commit to those we love.
May we each have the courage to… Be. All. In.
My heart is with you and for you,