Dear Friends Committed to Loving Wholeheartedly,
Be. All. In.
I learned the value of being all in through loving a strong man for over 20 years. And being no wilting daisy myself, conversations can get pretty intense. Two strong people disagreeing is rarely easy.
At the end of the disagreement…do I hold back? Do I take steps backward easing away from the relationship? Do I keep the backdoor open for a possible escape? Do I let my heart start to close in a protective posture? Do I ponder revenge or ways to retaliate? Not proudly, yes, I’ve done it all.
It was about 5 years into marriage when I realized my tendency to withhold…almost as if I didn’t want all my eggs quite in this basket. Looking back, I realized that misunderstandings and hardships were harder and more intense because of my choice to withhold pieces of my heart.
There are times when love really is a choice. And what does loving someone mean? For me, I knew. I knew that choosing to love someone for better or for worse meant being all in. When I hold this value well, I remember that I am stepping into the conversation and honoring the relationship because of the fact that I am all in and this is how I choose to love well.
Learning to be all in will influence other heart relationships as well. We will step better into conversations, listen hard, say what needs to be said, and ask the vulnerable questions. Trusting that it is always worth it. Wholeheartedly committing to the relationship by being all in will honor and strengthen friendships.
Do we do it well all the time? Nope. In fact, sometimes it gets pretty messy. But each interaction teaches us more about what it means to honor relationships and reflects back the choices we make in who we are becoming.
A word of caution….being all in is certainly not for the faint of heart. The most courageous and vulnerable act we can do is declare it to those we love.
May we each have the courage to tell those we love that we are ‘all in’.
My heart is with you and for you,