Confronting 3 Fears Keeping Us Anxious
Our reactions to certain fears can create a frenzied self-talk that keeps us spinning. Here are 3 consistent fears I see not only in my coaching, but experience in my personal life as well. See if you can relate…
Jenna is finishing up her graduate studies, and with lingering papers along with senioritis, she is now crawling toward the finish line. (I feel her pain…don’t we all know how this feels?) I could hear the frenzy in her voice as she anxiously described the outline of her latest paper. As I followed her logical sequence, it suddenly took a drastic turn….from a straight-forward discussion about the history of horses to a discussion about statistical analysis involving numbers, graphs, and charts. Huh?
“Why are you talking about the statistics of the horses when your assignment is on discussing the themes of how they were domesticated throughout the centuries?” I asked.
“I guess I thought it felt too easy and I was nervous it wasn’t good enough,” she replied. This comment led to the next realization…“But why in the world am I making it more difficult! I don’t even like numbers and I know a lot about horses, I’ve been around horses my whole life!”
We laughed because we both knew exactly what was happening.
The Fear of Ease was creeping in.
The Fear of Ease does not trust what is the easy and natural path. This fear comes when we are not confident of our perspective or our authentic strengths. It creates a False Belief system where we say to ourselves, “It has to be hard and I have to feel the miserable pain of the journey in order to be successful…but most importantly, I certainly can’t trust the easy path in life.” (Yep…been down this road before.)
Then when Lisa shared her exhausting experience in working for a driving service that deducted over 40% of fees, another familiar fear emerged.
“Why isn’t the money you are making in your current job enough?” I asked.
I wasn’t sure of what the answer might be, but she knew. “I’m nervous I will run out of money, “ she replied. (Yep…this was the Fear of Scarcity.)
The Fear of Scarcity is an exhausting tyrant that makes us strive and fret about getting our ‘fair share’. It generates a False Belief there is not enough to go around. We stress to keep up and make choices that keep us frenzied rather than allowing us to cultivate peace. (Boy, could I relate! I had gotten stuck in this fear too many times myself.)
This last fear I experienced recently in my work with coaching various organizations. I was flying out to do several days of workshops, and as I was preparing, I felt the need to get more training. Now, training is good, but when it is motivated by fear, it often becomes busy work that keeps us stressed and distracted.
Yep, this Fear of Not Measuring up has kept me anxious too many times.
Fortunately, in this instance, after researching several training seminars, I paused long enough to assess the angst growing within me…oh yeah…I knew that nervous feeling in my gut. It is this fear that keeps us spinning internally and taunts us to do more and more to earn our place in this world. We begin to believe who we are really isn’t enough.
Stop and notice these fears.
Step away from them.
Invite in Divine Love that does not participate with fear.
Remember who you are.
My heart is with you and for you,